"a bizarre, almost unreal spoof like quality, to a sometimes funny, yet deeply unsatisfying half baked plot of a film"
I'm usually deeply suspicious when a film has as much hype and money pumped into advertising as The Tourist has, it feels like I cant turn a corner in London without being hounded by Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp's beautiful faces, and once again, my suspicions were confirmed. Now I appreciate that in theory, it is of course, a directors dream to cast together Hollywood's sexiest alternative bad girl and bad boy, but sometimes, somethings are left better to the imagination, a place where I wish the script and entire premise of the film had stayed.
The Tourist is an unusual choice for these two A listers, especially Johnny Depp, who had the constant air of being slightly confused as to how he had got into this film, being led around like a blind lamb by the talons of someone in their element. Angelina Jolie clearly took this role as it ticked all her boxes, sexy international woman of mystery-check, to die for wardrobe and luxury hotel scenes in Venice-check, carte blanche to pout and sashay her hips around Venice as much as she likes- check. I imagine it was a no brainer for her really, its just such a shame you didn't need one to watch the film either, in fact it was preferable.
The Tourist is a confused, half baked plot of a film that at times feels like a cross between Pink Panther and a very early James Bond film, and although just as glamorous as James Bond, it is just as ridiculous. The Tourist follows English International Woman of Mystery Elise, Angelina Jolie, who is being stalked by Scotland Yard, as she leaves her exquisite hotel, and receives strange mysterious letters in Venecian cafe's from what we assume is her co conspirator and ex lover. We find out that the writer of the notes is an Alexander Pearce, who stole £2.3 Billion from a mob boss and now the authorities and the mob boss in question are after him. In one of these mystery letters, Elise is instructed to take a train to Italy and find someone with Alexander's build and height on the train and act like the stranger is Alexander to throw the authorities off of Alexanders real whereabouts. The man in question is American tourist Frank Tupelo, played by Johnny Depp, who becomes entangled in Elise's world of danger and mystery.
Now if only this was where things got interesting, unfortunately, between the giant plot holes of unbelievable magnitude and the cheesy script, The Tourist set out to be as boring as its title, and that's saying something when the two lead characters are both stellar actors. However their lack of chemistry was palpable, for the first time in my long and loyal career as Johnny Depp fan number one, I actually lost all interest in his half asleep portrayal of Frank. The supporting cast were actually far more entertaining such as Paul Bettany's desperate Scotland Yard Inspector, and Steven Berkoff's terrifying mob boss Reginald Shaw.
Despite exciting boat chases, and breathtaking scenery, the lack of chemistry and any believable romance between Depp and Jolie, just left the film flat from the outset, coupled with a ridiculously far fetched climax making me wish I could be the Tourist and vacate my cinema seat.