"A calamitous, insubstantial picture that is simply an intriguing idea, and one that should remain as just that..."

In the same week that chart-topping musician Plan B makes a successful transition from the stage to the director's chair in Ill Manors - unfortunately the same can't be said for Kula Shaker front man Crispian Mills, in his directorial début A Fantastic Fear of Everything.

Simon Pegg plays Jack, a paranoid children's author who has an irrational fear of absolutely everything, with being murdered top of the agenda. Determined to prove his worth as a crime novelist, he starts researching for a new book on serial killers, yet his findings only make his situation worse as he parades around his London flat wearing nothing but a dirty yellow vest and pair of Y-fronts, with a gormless, terrified expression smacked across his face. Oh, and he carries a big knife around with him at all times, just in case.

Following a meeting with his agent Clair (Clare Higgins), Jack in informed that a mysterious Hollywood executive has taken an interest in his work, and rather than work towards the a potential break, Jack instead has a breakdown as he is convinced that all is not as it seems - and when he realises that he must look smart and wear clean clothes ahead of his meeting with the executive, he must overcome his biggest fear of all; the launderette.

As you can probably tell from my synopsis above, A Fantastic Fear of Everything is lacking in one of the most important of factors; any palpable storyline. The idea has some promise and the character of Jack has enough personality to form a quite interesting film around him, yet what transpires is a complete mess of a film. The lack of an actual plot combined with a host of uninteresting and insignificant supporting characters makes for a film that has no direction or purpose to it, as it completely struggles in knowing exactly what it wants to be. It certainly isn't a comedy as it isn't funny. But it isn't a horror or thriller either because neither is it scary or thought-provocative.

Although the strength to the character of Jack is somewhat of a positive, he is still rather annoying, which is also frustrating as you need to take the side of your protagonist. Mills has somehow managed to take one of the most likeable actors in Pegg and give him a really irritating character to play around with. Pegg has never been a terrific actor as such but it is his amiability which makes him so appealing. The audience can relate to Pegg's characters and adhere to his nerdy, innocent ways, as you can't help but love the characters he portrays in Spaced and Shaun of the Dead amongst others. Mills has taken that empathetic likeability away from him however, which devalues our lead and therefore the entire picture.

Fingers must be pointed at Pegg too however, as his script-choosing has to be questioned once again. Following roles in lacklustre features such as How to Lose Friends and Alienate People and Burke and Hare, he either needs to sack his agent, or sign a contract that makes him solely eligible to appear in films that only himself or Edgar Wright have written.

On a more positive note the music is well implemented throughout the film, a good choice of score used at effective times, whilst one must acknowledge and admire Mills for his quirky creativity, especially for a début production. There is an evident attempt to try something new here and the use of colours and unconventional editing is interesting, although unfortunately for Mills, it's interestingly rubbish.

Despite the long line of talent and rich heritage in film within Mills's family - as the son of Hayley Mills and grandson of Sir John Mills - it would appear that such talent in cinema may just end here, in a calamitous, insubstantial picture that is simply an intriguing idea, and one that should remain as just that, with no validation to becoming a feature length film. And in regards to irrational fears, it's fair to say that I now have one that Crispian Mills is going to make another movie.