"All the right ingredients – such a shame about the recipe"

Immortals should, in theory, be pretty much my perfect film.  I’m a really big fan of myths and monsters, and 300 ranks up there with one of my favourite films ever made, so a film based on an even more epic story, and produced by the same guy, Mark Canton, instantly caught my eye as one to watch.

Visually, Immortals is stunning.  Very similar stylistically to 300, it’s full of muscle bound heroes who clearly have never seen a piece of chocolate in their lives (take a bow Henry Cavill), set across epic locations with tens of thousands of warriors taking to the field of battle.

The story too, on paper at least, has all the hallmarks of a silver screen epic.  A ruthless and cruel king (Mickey Rourke), decides to take on the Gods, by releasing the mythical Titans, only to encounter resistance from a demi-God (Henry Cavill) and his rag tag band of friends (Stephen Dorff and Freida Pinto to name but two).

You’d think then, that this film blew my socks off when I watched it.  You would however, be wrong.  As much as I wanted to like this film, it just didn’t strike the right chord.

Cavill, whilst physically perfect for the role, has none of the charisma of Gerrard Butler in 300 for example – his epic speeches more likely to induce comas than rouse spirits.  The story, which should build to an epic climax, trudges along with poorly conceived elements (the romance between Cavill and Pinto particularly grating), and save for a brief intervention from the Gods, didn’t engage me in the slightest.

It’s a worry for me that Hollywood is proving to be so adept at butchering these kind of films – the sooner they realise that an excess of style is no substitute for substance the better.