"a fair spy outing in terms of action"

Sometimes too many cooks spoil a broth. Sometimes so many famous faces cannot save an uninspired and derivative script. That’s the case for new spy thriller The 355.

Directed by Simon Kinsberg, The 355 boasts an impressive either Academy Award-winning or nominated cast lead by Jessica Chastain. With Lupita N’yongo, Diana Krueger, Penélope Cruz, Fan Bingbing, and Sebastian Stan, it seems like acting talent can’t save a lacklustre story.

The 355 revolves around a collective of female spies who must stop a devastating drive from falling into the wrong hands and destroying the globe. Standard end of the world stuff.

The 355 is an uneven outing that mostly teeters into groan-inducing guff. For its pluses, The 355 is a fair spy outing in terms of action. It has a convoluted plot that takes our characters across the globe (though, hilariously to the same five countries other spy thrillers go to.) There’s impressive fight sequences and espionage, though it is stretched heavily

The dialogue needs to be snappier. The characters, and thusly the film, takes itself so seriously. Which isn’t necessarily a problem if it weren’t for two salient facts. The first is that there are a few setups for jokes that fall by the wayside. Penélope Cruz gets into a lift with a gun and two bemused tourist, and one expects a cut-back to their scared faces as Cruz disembarks into the gunfire. Instead, the humour doesn’t happen, and the audience is left contemplating what the point of the whole sequence is.

The second is that the dialogue adds to this desperately dull film. The characters aren’t fleshed out and are given carbon copy backgrounds. Cruz spends the entire film talking about her family whilst N’yongo is focused only on tech and getting back to her partner. Kruger and Chastain are lone wolves who, when they aren’t fighting each other, connect over how difficult being a lone wolf is – which becomes very boring. There’s no light relief. Even James Bond can muster a funny line or two to break up the tension.

The script itself is sloppy, from an unnecessary sex scene in the first twenty minutes to a villain reveal so obvious that it’s like they are wearing a sign. The cast try to put in a good show but all this talent cannot save this film from being a dire, generic movie which commits an awful sin – its dreadfully boring.